this is the drawing I made for john for valentines day. alex paige
Hopefully I will be able to find a clip off of youtube that i like enough to put above this post. I have listened to quite a few of them today to find the right one but it's possible that it hasn't made the internet.
A year ago my mom was blessed enough to go see Chonda Pierce in concert with a few friends of hers. They had a wonderful time and when she heard that Chonda would be performing on Upper Marlboro this last weekend she immediately thought of us girls. She asked us if we would like to go and who would turn a night of laughter down? I left Sam with his daddy and we headed up the road to see the funny lady. And she was funny! Boy was she funny... this woman when I closed my eyes reminded me of Dolly Parton crossed with Ellen and then some. She is a smart southern lady with one heck of a sense of humor and I just know that God has used her to touch many many women throughout the years. The first two hours my jaw hurt so much just from smiling and laughing then came the last two hours... do the math that is 4 hours!!!! we were sitting in pews... my butt hurt and I thought that it was going to fall off or something. But the last bit was really nothing to joke about. I don't know how I feel about it or not. If I knew that it was going to be the way it was I might not have been so excited to come. It was a little preachy rather than funny and a few times I couldn't help but think to myself... "I'm not laughing... shouldn't we be laughing?" I think the thought crossed my mind because I was getting a little uncomfortable. Chonda is a funny lady who suffers from clinical depression. Apparently last year it was so bad that she had thoughts about taking her own life. That wasn't what her message was really about though. She had grown up in the church the daughter of a pastor and to be blunt she had a really screwed up childhood. She said at one point that she felt as if we were always trying "protect" the church from things. There are things that you just don't bring up n church, things that you just don't admit to. You never want to make the church look bad or give christians a bad name. The point was that the church is God's bride and He is big enough to "protect" the church if it needs it. She goes on to talk about her depression which finally led to her checking into a mental wellness hospital. She said she hated it and it was the best thing that could have ever happened to her. She talked about her experience with "group" how they called it "checking in" where they would sit in a circle and tell their story. And the person that was running it would thank them for their honesty and their authenticity and ask the next person to go on. And it helped. She also talked about medication and how some people don't believe in it and think that our faith is wavering if we should take the medicine that will help us feel better. I am not very apt at recapping but she was very moving.
I hate to admit this because I know that it will make me sound like a jerk, it will make me sound very cold and very ignorant but I'll admit it anyway. Before last night I had a very different outlook on depression. I had a very different outlook on people who claimed to be depressed or who took medication for what I thought was just a so called illness. I've never been much for medication of any kind... though that sort of ended when I had Sam... but even now I will wait out a lot of things before even taking a Tylenol. I admit that I haven't been there for friends that have been going through some bad stuff. Now if I could grasp what they were going through I was as "there" for them as I knew how to be. But when it came down to depression I just didn't get it. Somehow in my mind it just wasn't real. I thought that it was an excuse some of the time and sometimes I just thought that they weren't trying hard enough. I realize that this sounds horrible. It's not that I didn't believe that it existed I think I just didn't think that it was as big of a deal as it is much less an actual disease. I was talking to my mom about this last night and about how ignorant I have been. We talked about Chonda and how her nasty childhood probably didn't help her depression but I got to think about the people that i know. The people that I grew up with and where I do not know what goes on in everyones home I know that I grew up with some people who were pretty happy then and are going through a really rough time now. I can't imagine how bad it would be to be going through something like this and having no idea why... I mean it's one thing when you have a "reason" to feel crappy but what if you don't and you still feel depressed. I think that would have to make it worse. i can understand why it might be hard to take and hard to try to understand God.
Chonda's message is a light in the darkness. She is reassured that Christ loves her and that he is with her no matter how dark things get for her. It's an amazing gift that she has to relate to people. I pray that the rest of her tour goes well and that the people who really need to hear her words are just brought to the concert. Also I thank her for opening my eyes and I apologize to all the friends I have that I haven't been there for. There have been many.
Poor Bill... i think it was a tragedy that the Patriots didn't win the superbowl... more than anything I just wanted to see history in the making... a perfect season. That said, the Giants really did great and though I thought the game was a little boring they sure made it interesting in the last 2 minutes of game time. Maybe next year the Pats will go all the way! We think it's because Bill didn't wear his gray sweatshirt but who knows. It was a good game with a bit of a sad ending. :(
Prayer... how many times has someone asked you to pray for them? I guess it depends on what circles you run in. But for Christians, we are asked to pray for people quite often and no one would think to refuse to do so. Unfortunately I think sometimes it is so common place to hear a prayer request that we log it in the back of our minds or reserve it for right before bed that we forget to come to our Father right at the time and lay our requests and praises at his feet. I know that I am guilty of this. I needed a system that I could use to devote time to those prayer requests with my whole heart and not just in passing... should I even remember them. This started when my friend Tiffany was in Venezuela on a mission trip. When I would read her e-mails and her prayer requests I felt the need to be a prayer warrior for her but I could not rely on my forgetfulness and the times that I did come to God in prayer I felt that it was too quick and that I didn't remember everything that I needed to, and even though I know that He knows what's on our hearts and even what hasn't been spoken I felt the need to get better at praying if you will. So I started to write down my prayers in a journal. This is not a new concept but for me it was. I love to write and when do so I feel engaged. I am thinking and pulling things out of my mind that I normally wouldn't when I am just speaking to God. Also it helps me concentrate to have my hands moving, I don't know why... Today I received a prayer request from my friend Larry for his brother and sister in law. I met Keith and Wendy briefly when i visited Larry and Heather outside of Cincinnati. Wendy was in a car accident and is in critical condition at the moment. You can imagine the toll this is taking on Keith. Father, thank you for al the blessings that you put in our lives, the blessing of family and of marriage. Thank you for the protection that you put upon us and the healing hand that you lay on us. Father I just pray that you be with Wendy today as she is recovering from surgery and as the possibility of another surgery is on the table. Lord, I just pray that you give her the strength to get through this physically and emotionally. Lord, please lay your hand on her body and heal her, we pray that there is no infection and that the doctors hands have done the best job that they can. Father, be with Keith as he waits. Lord, we know that waiting can be the hardest thing in the world. I pray that you just lay a calmness over him and bring people to him to reassure him and sit with him at this time. father thank you for the blessing of marriage, with this blessing there can be so much hurt as we are so attached to our spouse, please calm that worry. Thank you for everything that you are and your son Jesus Christ, thank you that you loved us so much that you sent him down to earth to save us, that he lived and breathed the same air that we breath today and that he has gone through the all the pain the world has to offer so that we may have a relationship with you. In this time of worrying and grief and anticipation and waiting I just pray that Keith will call on you Lord to be his rock because he has that relationship with you and we know that you will always be there for us. Also, Father I pray for larry as he is far from home right now. Lord I just lift Larry up to you because I know how much he cares for people and especially family, I know how much he worries and that he has such a large heart for people. god I just pray that you keep him calm as well and get him through today and tomorrow, Lord I pray that he is able to finish his sermon and lead is church, I pray that you will put people in his path today that can give encouragement. Thank you God for your provision, thank you for your love and thank you for your Son, Amen.
